The End Is Near

Well, the year is nearing the end and this is the time when everyone (well, I think) sits and reflects on the year that has been. The achievements, failures laughs and cries. We’ve been through a lot, good and rough patches but I have a few achievements of my own that inspire me to be a better person.

Picking up a pen and paper and sharing my thoughts with you, yes you the reader has been an eye opener for me. I have managed to put smiles on a few faces and that really humbles me. It takes a lot of hard work as you all expect a better blog every time you read my posts. Well, I promise to deliver.

Raising my daughter has also been a highlight in my life. She has opened my eyes to new possibilities and continues to silently motivate me.

Destiny Tutors has grown from strength to strength. It continues to grow and I will work hard to see it grow to greater heights.

Its been a hectic year with its ups and downs but let’s all be positive and remember that our failures (though they make our enemies smile) really make us stronger. Learning from your mishaps is the best gift you can ever give yourself. Let’s not, however, think that 2012 will suddenly be a bed of roses. New challenges are up ahead and we need to brace ourselves for them.

So I’d like to say “CHAIRS” to the following: 1) the hustlers 2) workers 3) new dads 4) that guy/lady who sells sweets on the street corner 5) the newly weds 6) new relationships and to the HATTERS, you are the reason why some of us wake up motivated everyday and the GOSSIPERS, you keep us relevant. Keep it up.

Finally, I’d love to say to all the mothers out there, you are so amazing. You give your all self-lessly. Your unconditional love inspires the nation. Just know that you are highly appreciated. May God bless you abundantly.

Now remember: Do not waste a minute being unhappy. If one door closes……..tell whoever is in your house to stop playing games and open up the door. Lol

Like she always says; Ai Sharaaaap.

twitter @brucencube

Stupid Questions pple ask

A few days back, I posted a blog titled AWKWARD MOMENTS. I got great responses from some readers, some saying they are also guilty of those moments. Whilst most readers have been caught on the other side of the stick, they have admitted to being too random and blabbering random and in most cases stupid questions. I must say, if you decide to ask me a stupid questions, do not at any point expect an intelligent response.

Being a tutor has come with funny moments. Now, a right-angled triangle can be mathematically solved using the Pythagoras Theorem, where the square of the hypotenuse(the slant) equals the sum of the square of the opposite side and the square of the adjacent side. A student was given the opposite length and the opposite length and asked to find x, which was the hypotenuse. The response was an arrow pointing towards the x and the tag being: There is x.

Recently, a Ms South Africa hopeful was asked to name the 9 provinces and her first answer was Durban. Well, everyone thought that was a once off blonde moment but the next response confirmed her stupidity, “SOWETO.”

In most cases, when you ask a stupid question, you normally get a blank faced “non”-response. Not with me. Not here(Juju Accent).

1) You see me lying down, eyes closed and you ask; Are you sleeping? Nope, I’m practising how to die. 2) Its raining and you notice me going out and you ask: Are you going out in this rain? Nope, I’ma go out in the next one. 3) You call my home land line and ask me: Where are you? I’m @ the mall parking lot waiting to be airlifted back home. 4) You see me wet coming out of the bathroom and you ask: Did you just have a bath? Nope, it was raining cats and dogs in the bathroom. 5) I bring a bunch of flowers for my sweet heart and she asks: Are those flowers? Uhm, no response. She’s not that stupid. 6)Finally, you see me in the queue to buy tickets outside a cinema in the evening and you ask: What are you doing here? Owh, I just came to check who ate breakfast in the morning.

Halla back with the stupid questions you have heard and the funny responses. Like she always says: YEY. Lol

twitter @brucencube

Dezemba ReLoaded

So, MashDiva (www.mashdiva.wordpress.com) has put a smile on many with the Ke Dezember Bosss!!! issue. I had quite a laugh. Made me go back in time. All that rings in my mind is the after effects of this December holiday. It comes as no suprise that after this time, most of us are broke beyond recognition. Like in a fire, one gets 3rd degree burns. Here its 8th degree debt. Come January, the Loan Sharks aka ABOMASHONISA make a killing, expensive hand sets are swapped for 3310s. As schools open, all the kids just know that they have to comprehend with carrying “lunch tins” to school. Now, a word of advice: Do not, I repeat, do not use your empty lunch tins as Number 2 holders. Its so funny because this happens every year, though we try hard to be disciplined, it always goes back to the same old story or rather, 1) empty pockets 2) “R20 boss” at the filling stations 3) 60 – 80km/h saving petrol 4) car on Neutral at every downhill drive 5) onion, water bottle and ice cubes in the fridge 6) longer pawn shops, Super Bet and Lotto queues 7) lunch tins (no need to warn you again) and 8) insufficient funds at the ATM. Well, nothing can really change this situation, even a reputable Financial Advisor. Whatever happens, spend that hard earned cash on “CRICKETS aka fire works. That gives meaning to the statement, BLOWING your money. Sit back and watch it go into flames and temporary stars, literally. Swap Coke for Pepsi. MadMax has amazing bargains, credit @ these leading retailers will set you back. When times are hide, do not worry, you are not alone and please remember, A day without sunshine is like ………., well, night and On the other hand, you have………,well, fingers. Just like she always says, YEY. Lmao. Halla

twitter @brucencube

Akward Moments

We’ve all been through crazy stuff in life. Well, you may remember that in my last blog I mentioned an embarrassing moment that happened in my early years but the following might be relevant to you. That awkward moment when 1) you walk with a new partner and suddenly there is a “farty” smell and you definitely know it aint u. 2) when you are alone in a lift and you let rip a fart then your crush walks in, 3) when your long time crush tells you she wants your young brother instead, 4) when you let rip a loud fart in a taxi and realise you had your earphones on, 5) when you say goodbye to someone but you both walk off in the same direction, 6) when you pull the push door at MacDonald’s even though it is clearly marked, 7) when you don’t know which armrest is yours @ the cinema, 8) when you pick up a hot iron thinking you are answering the phone, 9) when you type your ex’s name into your Facebook status instead of the search bar, 10) when someone mistakes you for the shop assistant, 11) when you push the un-lockable toilet door thinking no one is inside 12) when you confidently say the wrong answer in class and finally 13) when after doing your business (Number 2) in your new bf’s / gf’s toilet, you realise there’s no tissue, no air freshener and toilet won’t FLUSH. I’m guilty of quite a few there. Halla @ me with your awkward moments.

twitter @brucencube

Childhood

The earliest memories of my childhood can be summed up in 1 word: INTRIGUING. Raised by a single woman, my grandmom went through ups and downs to make sure we had a balanced lifestyle. I’ve always been vertivally challenged (short) and at some point I thought I’d be a midget, no disrespect. My height or rather, lack thereof, worked to my advantage (not when it came to dating). I remember being locked up in the veranda and managing to escape through the bars only to be caught, whipped then put back in. The rainy season always came with crazy ideas, from making plastic boats, getting myself soaked in the rain and peeing on myself knowing I’d get away with it, catching and frying tadpoles (can’t really remember if I ate those). Truthfully, information is stored in our minds in whatever format we choose to store it in and never vanishes. I remember the dance styles, CABBAGE and MACARENA, the worst soapie ever Neighbours, the cartoons, Captain Planet, Brave Heart, the ever exciting Knight Rider and The A-Team. Who can ever forget Tour of Duty? The word Left-Handed made so much sense to me than Lieutenant. The days of Hulk Hogan, Warrior, Yokozuna, Hack Saw Jim Duggen, Mr Perfect, 1-2-3 Kid and The Undertaker. That was WWF at its best. With that being said, I will never forget the day I got a hiding from hell. It was a hot afternoon as I walked from school. I was in the 1st grade. My stomach decides to start acting up and unluckily there was a PUBLIC restroom. (When I say Public, I mean FILTHLY public). So when I couldn’t hold it in, I took out my empty lunch box, did my business in it, closed it, put it in my bag and headed for home. I do not want to remember the pain I got from the hiding after my business had been uncovered from my school bag. Now that’s a memory and a 3 quarters. Keep Tabs: twitter @brucencube. TSOL GOOD.

judgement

You wake up in the morning feeling all good about your day ahead, ready to take on the world. You browse through your social networks and realize there is a couple of people talking about you, indirectly though. Its bound to stab you in the heart, especially if one of the people is a so called friend. Why are we quick to judge? Do we ever put ourselves in other people’s shoes. We hide behind religion and culture. Everyone has their imperfections, instead of looking at the next person’s hurdles, look at yours first. The most common statement is, “I know I’m not perfect, but I’m better than him/her”. So what if the next person does not have a car and you do? So what if the next person stays in a shack and you have a house? So what if the next person had a baby at a young age and you still waiting to have a million in your bank to start a family? So what if you have a PHD and the next person is a hustler? Good for you, you have worked hard for that, enjoy it, bt do not let it get to your head. The vice versa is also true. If you haven’t achieved in your life, do not blame those who have. Look within yourself, instead of wasting time on other people’s successes, try to look at your strengths and build your future. Humility is one of the bricks in the foundation to success. Lastly, I find it hard to understand the fact that the most religious people tend to be the worst hypocrites (no judgement ). I want to try to be non judgemental and let humility drive me forward. Like my friend always says, TSOL GOOD.

judgement

You wake up in the morning feeling all good about your day ahead, ready to take on the world. You browse through your social networks and realize there is a couple of people talking about you, indirectly though. Its bound to stab you in the heart, especially if one of the people is a so called friend. Why are we quick to judge? Do we ever put ourselves in other people’s shoes. We hide behind religion and culture. Everyone has their imperfections, instead of looking at the next person’s hurdles, look at yours first. The most common statement is, “I know I’m not perfect, but I’m better than him/her”. So what if the next person does not have a car and you do? So what if the next person stays in a shack and you have a house? So what if the next person had a baby at a young age and you still waiting to have a million in your bank to start a family? So what if you have a PHD and the next person is a hustler? Good for you, you have worked hard for that, enjoy it, bt do not let it get to your head. The vice versa is also true. If you haven’t achieved in your life, do not blame those who have. Look within yourself, instead of wasting time on other people’s successes, try to look at your strengths and build your future. Humility is one of the bricks in the foundation to success. Lastly, I find it hard to understand the fact that the most religious people tend to be the worst hypocrites (no judgement ). I want to try to be non judgemental and let humility drive me forward. Like my friend always says, TSOL GOOD.